Unreliability and confusion do not have to be a part of your dating-over-50 experience, dating coach Bobbi Palmer told Huff/Post50.
"A lot of people who are dating in their 50s probably haven't dated since they were [in their 20s] -- they're paralyzed, they still have the old vision of themselves and the old vision of the boys they were dating," Palmer said.
But according to TODAY’s “This is 50” survey results, only 18 percent of single people in their 50s said they were dating.
On the positive side, the age 50-plus daters seem to be pretty darn smart when choosing a date-mate.
Most people want to find a friend or a life partner, and to meet the dates who may fulfill this desire, many 50-somethings, about 80 percent in fact, do it the old-fashioned way — through friends or family. Dating after 40 or 50 means taking control of your love life, just like you do the rest of your life. Baggage bonding is when an early date shifts into deep conversation about some baggage you have in common. You start comparing your horrific ex-spouses or your crazy awful dates. Men know who and what they want, often better than we do. The last thing you want at 55 is to wake up in the morning with flashbacks to your days as a 20-something, right? His manners, his shirt, his smile, the way he talks about his kids. If he walks away from the date having shared too much or hasn’t learned about you, then there won't be a second date.
It means being kind to yourself and the men you meet. I have compiled a list of Dating Do’s and Don’ts exclusively for women like you. These are for the woman who is done repeating the same mistakes, and is ready to find her grown-up love story. It starts off innocently with a question like “So what happened with your marriage? Nothing positive can possibly come from this, sister. Yes, I know he said he was going to call you, I know you had a great date and want to see him again. That’s especially true of the grownup men that you’re dating. Unless you can talk with your dude about safe sex and the status of your relationship after intimacy, steer clear of the sack. Start off with the positive and try to stay in mode before you decide he’s not right for you.
"We all mature -- most of us -- and this is the best time for anyone to date." Though there are new realities to deal with if you're dating after 50 (illness, sandwich generation concerns, menopause or impotence), it shouldn't dampen your love life or make you settle for anyone less than who you deserve.
"It's about undoing 35 years of thoughts, beliefs and truths that don't work anymore," Palmer said.
We recently attended a wedding in Palm Springs together, a fancy affair with pool parties, fireworks, and a ceremony at the Empire Polo Club where they host the Coachella music festival.
Singles over 60 is a dedicated senior dating site for single men and women over 60 to find activity partners, travel companions or your dream lover!
With your children grown up and left home, you have more spare time at home.
"It's about reacquainting yourself with who you are today and what value you hold in a partnership," she said. The internal list we all have that makes finding your perfect partner as hard as lassoing a unicorn.
"A lot of people are still holding on to the old vision of themselves." 2. But holding on to that impossible list isn't fair to you or the men you date, Palmer said.
As to the “why” behind the lack of date-nights, nearly 60 percent say they don’t need a relationship to be happy.